Last night, I was watching the Cowboys-Giants game, but got bored and elected to play Call of Duty instead. However, because I suck at Call of Duty and got embarrassed for three straight games, I turned off the Xbox and back to the game. What happened next is something I’m still trying to process. Read More
Twitter is a wonderful place for many reasons, one of them being the memes and jokes that originate and grow there, before they are eventually showing up on everyone’s timeline and making millions of people LTTQ (laugh to themselves quietly).
The best thing on Twitter right now, in my opinion, are these so called “starter packs.” Many of you are nodding your head in agreement and saying, “Yeah, I think so too!” Others are like “What are starter packs? Could you please explain?” And a few of you are still looking at the first word of this post and saying, “What’s a Twitter?”
If you don’t know what Twitter is, I can’t really help you too much; but if you aren’t aware of this “starter pack” phenomena, I will explain to you what one is, so you’re hip to what they mean and why they’re fun, before diving into DC Sports related starter packs. Read More
Sports are mostly awesome, but there are a few things about sports that aren’t so awesome; season ending injuries, endless TV timeouts, and that whole rule where each team has to begin EVERY NFL season with a 3-6 record (oh wait, what? That’s not a rule? Sorry, you’ll have to forgive me, the Redskins are 3-6 for the fourth straight year so I thought it was a new rule or something).
However, the thing about sports that is clearly the least awesome (but also completely necessary to any sporting event meaning there’s no way to get rid of ’em) are the people with the whistles and rulebooks: referees. Read More
Thought you knew the definition of words such as postseason, head coach, and timeouts? Think again.
I give to you the 2014 DC Sports Dictionary, hot off the presses, which redefines words that have a new meaning when used in the context of DC sports. For example, “4th quarter” takes on a whole different definition when a Redskins fan says it as opposed to, say, a Patriots fan; it’s easy to get lost in translation, so you need to start studying.
Scooch over Oxford and Merriam-Webster…Barley in Bounds is publishing its own dictionary. Read More
Jimmy Fallon does this hilarious thing, where he takes a group of people (normally that week’s NFL Sunday Night Game, because it’s played on NBC, the channel Jimmy Fallon’s Late Night Show is on), and hands out those high school superlatives people got at the end of the year. You know, those “Most likely to be______” or “Class Clown” awards. It is absolutely genius. Check one out so you get an idea of what it’s like:
Fallon puts up a player’s photo (normally a very funny or weird photo, or just a guy who is pretty ugly), then hands out awards like “Most likely to stare at you from across the room as you eat the last doughnut” or “Most likely to ask ‘Was that ok?’ after he kisses you.”
Fallon, whom I love with a fiery passion, inspired me to hand out some DC Sports Superlatives. I went through the Skins, Wiz, and Nationals rosters to find which players have the best/strangest/creepiest individual photos, then handed out the superlatives that I would’ve voted them for if we were in high school together. Check em out…they’re some pretty nice awards being given out. Read More
Here are three sports sentences I’ve heard recently that I never expected to hear.
“LeBron James is going back to Cleveland.”
“The Dallas Cowboys are a real contender for the Super Bowl.”
“The Kansas City Royals are in the World Series.”
What in the name of god is going on????????!!!!!?!?!???!?!?!???!?!?!?!?!?????????
Left is right. Up is down. Night is day. Things are happening in the sports world that I NEVER expected to happen. Like, LeBron James, the guy whose jersey was literally burned by thousands of Cleveland fans, is going back to the Cavs? The Dallas Cowboys, with Tony Freakin’ Romo as their quarterback, are actually good at the sport of football? And the Kansas City Royals, the very definition of a laughingstock organization, are in the World Series?
Alrighty. Hold on. These things are crazy, so it got me thinkin’: What other sports sentences do I NEVER EVER expect to hear in my lifetime? I’m pretty shocked right now, so I’m hoping by writing these down, if they ever do happen, I won’t be as surprised. Because let’s be serious, we all thought the Cowboys were gonna be terrible. Read More
As odd as this may sound, I believe that I was born with an innate, god given ability to identify people who look like other people.
Some people are born with extreme athleticism that allows them to dunk in seventh grade. Others are given a brain that can calculate ridiculous equations in no time at all. I got the magical ability to say “that that guy looks kinda like that other guy.” Sure, it’s not great, but today, it comes in handy.
I present to you a DC Lookalike Gallery, featuring some of the area’s biggest names and who they share an uncanny resemblance with. It was a lot of fun to put together.
In the end, I hope that I can use my spectacular abilities to help enrich your knowledge, so one day, when you’re watching the game, you can say, “Hey, don’t ya think that DeAngelo Hall looks a lot like pre-beard James Harden?” And when people are like, “Oh my God you are right,” you’ll feel good. Enjoy and share! Read More
Today, like I do every other day, I visited Bleacher Report and Grantland, two of my favorite sports sites, to catch up on some sporting news.
After going through BR’s trending videos and stories in “The Lineup,” I scrolled to the top of the homepage. “Ah, yes, the leading story is a series-by-series predictor of the MLB playoffs. That should be interesting,” I thought to myself. So I clicked on it. And I clicked through it. And once I got to the last page, which has a picture of Drew Storen high fiving Wilson Ramos and a prediction choosing the Nationals to win the World Series in six games, I paused for a moment.
“Ummmmmmmm………hmmmmmmm….this guy just picked a DC sports team to win the championship,” I began to realize. “That’s odd.” Read More
Whenever I scroll through twitter and see emotional pictures of DC athletes, I save them on my phone, so I can later incorporate them into my text conversations with people.
For example, if I see a picture of John Wall getting really fired up, I’ll screenshot it, then when my friend asks me if I want to go get some Dairy Queen, I’ll send that picture of John Wall as a substitute for my “HELL YEAH LETS GOOOOOOO” feeling that comes after such a request.
I noticed I have screenshotted a lot of these types of pics in recent days, so in this post, I put seven of my favorites, along with the common, relatable feelings we all have experienced I think they best symbolize. What feelings do these pictures remind YOU of?
Wow.
Wow wow wow wow wow wow WOW! W-O-W!
Just when you think it couldn’t get any worse, and actually, just when you think things were getting better, the Redskins come out on a national stage, at home, against a division rival, in a must win game, with another nationally televised game coming up, which just so happens to be against the defending Super Bowl champion, looking like they haven’t played football in their entire lives.
Ho-hum. Just another game played in front of millions of Americans that ends so embarrassingly I’m ashamed to walk around brandishing any sort of Redskins logo.
So much sadness occupies my heart right now. And I’m sure so much sadness occupies your heart, too, fellow Redskins fan. So that’s why I’m writing this post: to remind you that it’s not all bad, to rid your heart of some sadness, and to show you there are a few things in life that are happy things and not sad things. Keep your head up and read these bullet points, and you’ll be feeling better in no time. Read More
Barely In Bounds 